2-28-2012: Irony

Hello friends, after everything I said in my last blog, my entry for the 28th is coming out on "actually" the 29th. *shrug* I don't care.

Today I learned a few things about life:
-Trilogies make more sense in order.
-You always get more of the incense that smells meh than the one that smells amazing.
-Francis Chan knows how to teach me.
-Monster Hunter is exactly as good as I thought it was.
-Wine and Taco Bell make cleaning much better. Not at the same time >.>
-I have way too much crap.

I've been watching Ong Bak all evening, and as good as I remember it being, it's way, way better with the first two played immediately before it. And I think I might subconsciously understand the Thai language. I'm not even *really* watching the movie, so I'm not reading subtitles, but I understand everything that's happening somehow. Now that I've wasted your time and mine getting small talk out of the way:

I have a big, big, bad, mean, ugly, giant pride issue. I somehow didn't notice it for a large part of the last 3-5 years, but it's stuck to the back of my eyelids now, and every time I blink I see it. It's telling me that I *am* as awesome as I think I am, and I *can* do everything I believe I can do, but it has absolutely nothing to do with what I know and what I've earned. Nothing to do with how I act, or why I do the things I do. Everything about me that is awesome - and there is a lot - comes from a beautiful mind in the metaphorical skull of my creator.

I don't know if I'm "in denial" about the issue, but I've admitted it, and I'm aware of it, so I don't think so. I don't know if I'm realizing it in the wrong way or something, but I'm pretty sure people view pride the wrong way. I am awesome. I am amazing. And I ****ing better be, The Lord of All Creation made me in *His* image! I don't believe my problem lies in my self-image or sense of self, but in my response to it. I have credited myself for many things for a long time, and I want to stop and respect God and give Him credit where credit is due - which is to say, everywhere.

Amen?
Amen.